The Animated Chaperone
by Cybertoy00
Summary: Basedor horribly ripped off from a Broadway production, General Skarr listens to a record about a Broadway show called the Drowsy Chaperone, a show with just about every overused plotline in Broadway history. Main pairing, LuffyNami.
1. Cast and intro

(Hello. What you are about to read is a written version of a Broadway show I saw in New York a few days ago, _The Drowsy Chaperone_, about a man in a chair who listens to a record of a Broadway musical(It looks better than it sounds). It was such a funny play, that I began to think, 'Would it be funnier staring cartoon characters? So here you are, the animated version of _The Drowsy Chaperone. _I will take this time to note, that unlike other fanfic authors who do this sort of thing, I will note clog the plot by adding dozens of unnecessary extra characters just for the sake of doing so. I will like to say this now and I will not do requests for people who want to see their favorite pairing or such and such. Sorry, but my mind is made up. But what I won't do isn't important in comparison to what I will do, so here we go! –Cybertoy00)

Cast

Man In Chair- General Skarr (_Grim and Evil/Evil Con Carne/Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy_)

Mrs. Tottendale- Granny (_Looney Tunes_)

Underling- Alfred Pennysworth (_Batman: the Animated Series_)

Robert Martins- Monkey D. Luffy (_One Piece_)

Janet Van De Graaf- Nami (_One Piece_)

George- Roger Rabbit (_Who Framed Roger Rabbit_)

Feldzeig- Vlad Masters (_Danny Phantom_)

Kitty- Mihoshi Kuramitsu (_Tenchi Muyo_)

The "Pastry Chefs"- Zako Soldiers (_SD Gundam Force_)

Aldolpho- Tatewaki Kuno (_Ranma 1/2_)

The Drowsy Chaperone- Megara (_Hercules_)

Trix- Trixie Carter (_American Dragon Jake Long_)

I OWN NOTHING


	2. My Fancy Dress

The Animated Chaperone

"Ah, hello, how are you today?" Asked Skarr, former general. It was a rainy day, and he was spending the day in his New York Apartment. "Me? I'm just feeling a little anxious. A little uneasy for no apparent reason. It's a state I call 'blue'. So whenever I feel blue, I like to listen to music." Skarr began rummaging through a shelf near the chair he was sitting in. "I was going through my collection of records- that's right, records." He glared. "Some people still use them, ya know. Anyway, I was going through them when I found this little wonder from the 1920s, _The Drowsy Chaperone_, by Gable and Stein. Remember? Music by Jule Gable and lyrics by Sidney Stein. Remember? It's about- here, let me read the back of the album." Skarr flipped the album over and began to read, "It says, 'Music, Mix-ups and a gay wedding!'" He paused, "Well, Gay means something entirely different now, but back then it just meant fun."

Taking the record out of the album, Skarr placed it into the record player and started it up.

"Now let's visualize," Skarr began, easing into his chair as the record played the overture, "Imagine it's 1928. You're at the Morosco Theatre in New York. There's heavy sleet falling outside, but you don't care, because you're going to see a Broadway show!"

And so, as the music began, the atmosphere began to change, from a middle-clase apartment to the main hall of a glorious estate. Granny, wearing a fancy dress and standing in the middle next to here butler(or underling) Alfred, began to sing;

"_**My dress! My dress! **_

_**My fancy dress**_

_**I don't know why I'm wearing it **_

_**I must confess**_

_**My dress! My dress!**_

_**I love my dress**_

_**Would someone tell me why I put it on?"**_

Alfred: _**"Yes, yes! Your dress**_

_**Your fancy dress**_

_**Twas such a pleasure airing it**_

_**Re-stitching and repairing**_

_**God bless your dress!**_

_**It's one fine dress!**_

_**And I will tell you why you put it one"**_

Alfred began to dance.

Alfred: _**"Wedding bells will ring**_

_**Wedding bells will chime**_

_**Madame you're the hostess **_

_**And it's happy wedding time**_

Getting into the beat, Granny began to sing along with Alfred.

Granny & Alfred: _**"Wedding bells will ding**_

_**Wedding bells will dong**_

_**Wedding bells will ding-a-ling**_

_**And we will ding along"**_

As Granny and Alfred danced, the estates staff of Swatbots came out and began to decorate the house for the wedding. They too began to sing;

"_**Your dress! Your dress!**_

_**Your fancy dress**_

_**We're very very glad you put it on"**_

Ding-Dong! The doorbell rang, signaling someone's arrival.

Alfred: _**"Wedding guests have come"**_

All: _**"Wedding guests are here**_

_**Wedding guests are at the door**_

_**And soon they will appear"**_

At these words, numerous people entered the house(as if on cue) one of them is a guy in red vest, short pants, sandles and a straw hat. It's Luffy D, the grandson of a Vice-Admiral and one of the people to be married.

Luffy: _**"I'm Luffy, the bridegroom**_

_**I'm here to marry Nami**_

_**That star of Vladdy's Follies**_

_**Who I love a lot"**_

In next is a white rabbit with floppy ears, wearing red overalls and a bow tie, Roger Rabbit, the best man.

Roger: _**"I'm Roger! That's Roger!**_

_**His Best Man Roger**_

"_**I'm honored to be doing what a best man ought"**_

Looking around, Roger spied Granny talking to Luffy. He quickly ran up to her, talking excitedly.

"Ah, Granny Tottendale." Roger said, shaking her hand. "Now don't you worry. I'll take care of everything." Roger whipped off one of his gloves to show several strings tied around his fingers. "Each string represents a task I need to do. When it's done, I'll take that string off! This whole wedding's going to run like clockwork."

"Oh, is there going to be a wedding?" Granny asked eagerly. Both Roger and Luffy exchanged looks.

Meanwhile, man with white hair tied in a pony tail at the back of his head in a black suit. It was Vlad Masters, producer of Vladdy's Follies, the show Nami used to star in before accepting Luffy's proposal.

Vlad: _**"I'm Masters, producer**_

_**I lost my leading lady**_

_**I got to stop this wedding**_

_**Or I'm not worth squat"**_

As Vlad went off to consider his options on how to stop the impending nuptials, in popped a bright, cheerful-but none too intelligent-looking- tan-skinned woman with blond hair. This is Mihoshi Kuramitsu, a chorine in Vladdy's Follies. But she wants a bigger role.

Mihoshi: _**"I'm Mihoshi! Or Mimi!**_

_**I came with Mr. Masters**_

_**I'll be a leading lady**_

_**If I get my shot"**_

Mihoshi ran off, completely ignoring two Zako Soldiers in chef hats. One has a eggbeater while the other has a ladle.

Zako 1: _**"We're pastry chefs"**_

Zako 2: _**"We're pastry chefs"**_

Zakos: _**"We cross our hearts we're pastry chefs"**_

Zako 1: _**"No fakery!"**_

Zako 2: _**"A bakery"**_

Zakos: _**"Is what we got"**_

The Zakos quickly scurried off to make way for a dashing, debonair man. His name's Tatewaki Kuno, a self-proclaimed ladies man.

Kuno: _**"Lord Kuno! Lord Kuno!**_

_**My name it is Lord Kuno!**_

_**I am the king of romance**_

_**So I kiss a lot"**_

All: _**"You are the king of romance**_

_**So you kiss a lot**_

_**Wedding bells will ring!**_

_**Wedding bells will chime!**_

_**Wedding bells will celebrate**_

_**A happy wedding time"**_

Suddenly, everyone present noticed that someone _wasn't _present.

All: _**"Someone hasn't come**_

_**Someone isn't here**_

_**Where is Nami Belle-Mere**_

_**And when will she appear?**_

Suddenly, the lights dimmed. A spot light focused on the doorway. Suddenly, in walked in a cute, cat-like ladie with short orange hair. Nami, the bride, has arrived!

All: _**"It's Nami! It's Nami!**_

_**It's Nami Belle-Mere"**_

Nami: _**"I'm Nami, Nami Belle-Mere**_

_**Here to marry Luffy D**_

_**Giving up a life of glamour**_

_**To tie the knot**_

Suddenly, the door slammed open, squashing the Zakos against the wall. In walked Megara, the chaperone, looking somewhat…off-kilter, to say the least.

"Am I late?" Asked Meg.

"_**I'm the Chaperone**_

_**Chaperone of Nami Belle-Mere**_

_**Maid of Honor, friend and confidante**_

_**And all that rot"**_

Meg gave the area a quick look-around. "Where's the bar?

Undettered by this unorthodox arrival, everyone else started dancing.

All minus Meg: _**"A wedding! A wedding!**_

_**Hooray!"**_

Alfred, meanwhile, gave Meg some bad news. "It's Prohibation, Madam." He explained.

All: _**"A wedding! A wedding!**_

_**How gay!"**_

Meg wasn't worried. She whipped out a bottle and glass from behind. "Good thing I brought my own." She replied.

All: _**"A wedding! A wedding!**_

_**Today!"**_

Taking a quick sip, Meg began to sway. "Champagne makes me drowsy!" She commented.

All: _**"It's really happening!**_

_**Truly happening**_

_**Almost happening**_

_**What is happening?**_

Suddenly, everything froze. In walked a black-skinned girl dressed up like Amelia Earhart. She's Trixie Carter, or just, Trix.

Trix: _**"I'm Trix the aviatrix**_

_**Queen of the sky**_

_**I circle through the stratus**_

_**In my modern apparatus**_

_**I'm Trix the aviatrix**_

_**I've gotta fly**_

_**I'll see ya when they tie the**_

_**Knot"**_

Trix exited the scene via stage left, and everything returned to normal. Not missing a beat, the cast got back to singing.

All: _**A wedding, a wedding**_

_**Hooray!**_

Women: _**"Ding-a-ling"**_

Tenors: _**"Ding-a-ling"**_

Basses: _**"Ding-a-ling"**_

All: _**"A wedding, a wedding**_

_**A wedding's coming our way**_

_**A wedding, a wedding, today**_

_**Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling**_

_**Ding-a-ling**_

_**A wedding, a wedding**_

_**It's really happening**_

_**Truly happening**_

_**Almost happening**_

_**Surely happening"**_

In his chair, Skarr grinned eagerly as the music played on.

"Well, there you have it, all the main players have arrived," Skarr explained, "We have a Broadway starlet who's giving up showbiz for marriage, her husband to be, a scheming producer, robots disguised as chefs, a ditzy chorine, a latin lothario- who happens to be Japanese- and my favorite character, the Drowsy Chaperone!" Skarr laughed, "What better way to spend your afternoon? True, the plot is a bit stale," Skarr admitted after a thought, "And the characters are 2-dimensional, but who cares? The plot's just needed to string the songs together, it doesn't matter!" He then shut up as the song went into its final verse.

All: _**"Wedding bells will ring!**_

_**Wedding bells will chime!**_

_**Wedding bells will celebrate**_

_**A happy wedding time**_

_**Wedding bells will ding**_

_**Wedding bells will dong**_

_**Wedding bells will ding-a-ling**_

_**And we will ding**_

_**Along!"**_

Zakozakozakozako

In One Piece, Nami has no known last name, so I used the name of her foster mother from the series, Belle-Mere.


	3. Cold Feets

"Okay, guys," Luffy declared, "let's have a toast to Nami, the girl I'm gonna marry-" Luffy was suddenly cut off by Roger, who, in a fit of hare-raising acrobatics, dived clear across the room and tackled him.

"Jumping jeepers, that was close!" Roger cried, "You almost saw your bride!"

"What's wrong with that?" Luffy asked on the floor.

"It's bad luck!" Roger explained.

Luffy raised his eyebrow. If looking at Nami was bad luck, he couldn't wait for some good luck!

"We need to get you to your dressing, pronto!" Roger yelled, dragging Luffy to his feet, taking care to cover his eyes. "Hey Meg!"

Meg looked up from the wall she was leaning up against.

"You make sure Nami doesn't see Luffy, okay?" Roger asked, before making a desperate attempt to drag Luffy away, a task made difficult by the groom's rubber body.

"C'mon," Meg said, taking Nami by the arm, "Let's hit the pool."

Meg and Nami went in the other direction of Luffy and Roger. Meg, a little tipsy(or drowsy) from her earlier drink, had to be steadied by Nami.

Pretty soon the room was devoid of people, except for Vlad and Mihoshi.

"Aren't weddings great, Mr. Masters?" Mihoshi asked, "I'm glad Nami invited us."

"Great? Glad?" Vlad looked at her in annoyance. "This is a disaster! Nami leaving the stage means the end of Vladdy's Follies! She's the only thing that's kept the audience from demanding their money back!" Vlad's face grew a look of determination. "I have to stop this wedding, no matter what!"

"Mr. Masters," Mihoshi cut in, "You don't need Nami, you got a new leading lady- me!"

Vlad looked at her as Mihoshi posed and smiled cutely. "I have to stop this wedding, no matter what!" He declared.

"Mr. Masters!" Mihoshi protested, "I'm too good to be just a chorus girl, just give me a shot!"

Vlad was about to do just that(but good) when the Zako Chefs brought two trays of snacks to his attention.

"Appetizers, zako?" the first one asked.

"No thanks," Vlad declined.

"I'll have one!" Mihoshi declared. She began to pop the little edibles into her mouth one by one. Vlad was about to take this as his cue to leave when the Zakos got in his way.

"This may come as complete surprise to you, zako," Zako 1 began, "But we are not, as we have cleverly disguised ourselves, pastry chefs hired to cater for this wedding, zako."

"We are actually agents of a certain organization," continued Zako 2, "sent here to discuss Ms. Belle-Mere's wedding."

"Well, what do you want from me?" Vlad demanded. Meanwhile, Mihoshi began to work on the second tray.

"Our leader has invested a great deal of money in your show, zako," explained Zako 1.

"And if Ms. Belle-Mere gets married, she'll leave the show," Continued Zako 2.

"And if she leaves the show, there's no show," finished Zako 1.

"Therefore, zako, the General has sent us to deliver an ultimatum," Zako 2 said.

"Keep Ms. Belle-Mere from getting married and leaving showbiz…"

"Or else!" they both finished menacingly.

"I assure you, I have everything under control," Vlad assured, holding his hands up. "Say, who is this guy? Despite all the money he's put in, I've never seen him."

Zako 1, in response, gave his partner a good bonk on the head. From Zako 2's eye an image was projected onto the wall. The picture was that of a round, red, horned three-eyed robot head.

"Good lord!" Vlad gasped.

"Are we éclair?" Asked Zako 1.

"We canolli hope." Replied Zako 2.

With that, the Zako Chefs left. Mihoshi watched them march off before talking to Vlad.

"Mr. Masters, I think those two were gangsters!"

Vlad gave Mihoshi a long look. "Mihoshi, your powers of perception are stupefying."

Zakozakozakozako

"We now go to the groom's room," Skarr explained, "The groom was played by Monkey D. Luffy. Before, he was the Pandaman Toothpast boy. Pandaman was particular popular during the 1920s," Skarr continued, "Mostly because it contained cocaine. Oh, it's true. It was the third ingredient. Right after sugar."

Zakozakozakozako

In his assigned room, Luffy stood in front of a full-size mirror, inspecting himself. Instead of his usual red vest and pants, he wore a black suit with four large buttons(think he outfit from One Piece manga volume 6).

Luffy: _**"Hey there Mr. Mirror Man**_

_**Shakin' and a-quakin'**_

_**Tremblin' like dem**_

_**Fraidy cats do**_

_**Somethin' big be botherin' you"**_

Luffy slowly began to dance…

Luffy: _**"Cold feets**_

_**Cold feets**_

_**Brother you got cold feets**_

_**You can make dem**_

_**cold feets hot**_

_**With a little rhythm"**_

Now getting into beat, Luffy's dancing started to speed up.

Luffy: _**"Young feets**_

_**Old feets**_

_**Can be uncontrolled feets**_

_**Rhythm make dem**_

_**Cold feets trot**_

_**Down the aisle**_

_**Frosty arches**_

_**They can learn to swing**_

_**Icy toes can jive**_

_**Wedding marches**_

_**Played in ragtime swing**_

_**Make frigid soles come alive**_

_**And take that dive**_

_**Cold feets**_

_**Shmold feets**_

_**Turn 'em into bold feets**_

_**Rhythm makes dem**_

_**Cold feets**_

_**Hot!"**_

As Luffy kept dancing, Roger entered the room, talking on the phone.

"Fine, I'll get another minister, you rat! Go roast potatoes in a lot, why don't you!?" Roger hung up and placed the phone on a dresser. It was after that he saw Luffy tap dancing.

"Hey, whatcha doin', Luffy?" Roger asked after watching for a minute.

"I'm singing a song a guy in treasure chest taught me," answered Luffy, still dancing, "A dixie remedy for wedding day jitters."

"You think you've got jitters?" Roger admonished, "You've got the easy part, I have the weight of the wedding on my shoulders!"

"Gee, Roger," Luffy commented, "it sounds like you've got cold feets."

Roger: _**"What do I got?"**_

Luffy: _**"Cold feets"**_

Roger: _**"What do I want?"**_

Luffy: _**"Bold feets"**_

Roger: "_**What do I do- scold feets?"**_

Luffy: _**"Nooooo!**_

_**You make da cold feets hot"**_

Roger needed no more coaxing as he joined Luffy in the dance and the two started tap-dancing in time, a feat made more impressive by the fact that that neither of them were wearing tap shoes. At one point, Luffy paused and gave Roger a chance to dance solo, and the rabbit afterward did likewise. Afterward the both of them started dancing together again, until the door swung open. It was Alfred! The underling tap-danced in, carrying a pitcher of water and two glasses on a tray. After the groom and best man took a swig from the glasses, Alfred tap-danced out of the room.

Luffy & Roger: _**"5-6-7-8**_

_**Cold feets, cold feets**_

_**Turn 'em into bold feets**_

_**Rhythm makes dem**_

_**Cold feets hot**_

_**You make da cold feets hot**_

_**You make da cold feets hot**_

_**You make da cold feets hot"**_

On that final verse, the two stopped dancing and sat on the bed, rubbing his feet.

"Boy, this dancing sure does a number on your tootsies," the rabbit complained. He looked at the still dancing groom, "Are you still edgy?"

"Just a little," Luffy admitted, grinning like a fool.

"You oughta try something else then," Roger suggested, "If you get hurt, then the whole wedding's ruined. Hey! I know!" Roger whipped out a pair of roller skates from behind his back and gave them to Luffy. "Why don't you go skating? That's what I did before my wedding!"

Luffy strapped the skates on and grinned even more. "That's a great idea! Thanks, Roger!"

Luffy rolled his way to the door and was about to leave when Roger yelled.

"Wait!" Luffy looked at him. "If you go skating you might see your bride! Here!"

Roger whipped out a black sash and tied it around Luffy's head, covering his eyes.

"There!" Roger said triumphantly, "Now there's no chance of that happening!"

Luffy shook what he thought was Roger's hand. "Roger, I don't know what I'd do without you!"

Zakozakozakozako

A/N: The being that the Zakos showed was General Zeong, the true leader of the Dark Axis. He appeared at the very end of ep. 26, and got a much larger role in eps 27-52, which the evil Bandai company didn't air in the US.


End file.
